62% Nepali women feel domestic abuse is right!

Kathmandu: If a wife burns the food or demurs to have sex, her husband can beat her. And if she goes out without telling her mother-in-law or doesn't bring in dowry, the mother-in-law can do the same.

That is how a large chunk of women in Nepal's patriarchal society feels, a sample survey has discovered.

The Nepal Multiple Indicator Cluster Survey 2010, covering 24 of Nepal's 75 districts, focused on the state of women and children in two regions most vulnerable to disasters and the most underdeveloped: the midwest and the farwest.

These are also the districts that were the most affected by the 10-year Maoist insurgency and see thousands going to India across the border every year due to food scarcity and natural disasters.

Conducted by Nepal's Central Bureau of Statistics and supported by Unicef, the survey covered almost 6,000 households, talking to over 7,000 women about their family lives, health issues and children.

The survey, conducted from September to December 2010, found that 48 percent women, aged between 15-49 years, felt their husbands had the right to beat them if they spoilt the food while cooking, refused to have sex, neglected the children or argued.

Also, a whopping 62 percent believed mothers-in-law were justified in beating them if they failed to bring in dowry, went out of the house without telling them, didn't finish housework in time or argued.

Though Nepal's laws make it a punishable offence for a girl to marry before she is 18, the survey found an overwhelming 60 percent had been married before the legal age of consent.

Sixteen percent got married while below 15.

Though women dominated the population with the male-female ratio being 100:92.9, the dreaded tradition of chhaupadi still prevailed, despite being banned by the government.

Chhaupadi is the custom of regarding menstruation as a period of impurity during which women are not allowed to touch anything, including water, plants and their husbands.

Though it is not observed so rigidly in the capital and major cities, in the remote villages girls and women are confined to cowsheds during menstruation. Both girl students and women teachers are barred from attending school.

The survey found the midwestern mountain region to be the worst affected -- 52 percent, while the farwestern hilly region reported a 50 percent prevalence.

"It is unacceptable," said Hanna Singer, Unicef representative in Nepal, referring to the high prevalence of the chhaupadi system and the early marriages.

"The legal structure is protective of women but the implementation needs monitoring."

Singer linked the violence against women to the violence targeting young children.

A whopping 83 percent of the children interviewed said they had been disciplined either by severe psychological abuse or physical punishment.

"It creates a continuous cycle of violence against women (and also) subjects women to longer cycles of child-bearing (that) has grave consequences for children's and women's health," Singer said.

IANS

Girls Education In Danger....

Wa, Sept.18, GNA – Girls’ education at Jongo-Tabiasi, a community in the Wa Municipality is in danger due to some traditional beliefs and practices of the people.

Findings by the Child Protection Programme, a UNICEF- assisted intervention undertaken by Community Development and Social Welfare Departments have revealed that members of the community believe that it is a taboo for a girl to cater for her aged parents.

Any girl who risks taking care of her aged parents would be destined to die and as a result parents do not see the essence of educating them.

This was made known at a stakeholders’ sensitisation seminar in Wa at the weekend, to review UNICEF’s assisted projects and programmes in the Upper West Region.

The findings also advocated stiffer sanctions on commercial drivers who helped to traffic children to urban centres and illegal mining spots to help deter the practice.

The two departments called for the establishment of Births and Deaths offices in the hospitals to help reduce the burden on parents who go to the law courts to swear affidavits before they could get their children registered later.

Alhaji Issahaque Salia, Regional Minister, commended UNICEF for contributing towards the realisation of key millennium development goals in the country.

He said UNICEF had made huge investment in the provision of health facilities, nutrition, water, sanitation and hygiene, child protection and education as well as means of transportation to the Region, which had helped to address some of the many social development challenges of the communities.

He noted that issues of water, sanitation, hygiene, child protection, girl- child education and health as well as child trafficking and migration, elopement and child marriages are among the very core of the Region’ developmental endeavour.

Alhaji Salia therefore asked the district assemblies to develop strategies to integrate these challenges into their development plans.

He called on the assemblies to embrace new initiatives such as the integrated community care management and the community management of acute malnutrition that the Ghana health sector and other institutions had introduced.

Ghana News Agency

Why abused women don't tell...

Most of us have probably come across a woman who has been abused continuously and wonder why she has not left such a relationship/marriage??

Rihanna and Chris Brown in happy times

Truth of the matter is that the abused mostly feels ashamed to come out and tell of their predicament. As the abuse goes on a woman tends to lose her self-esteem, they tend to feel worthless. Just the mere fact that they are hit, kicked and beaten is enough to make them feel worthless, and it robs of them of their self-esteem.

Abuse ranges from beating, kicking, shoving someone to the floor, being degraded and humiliated (emotionally, physically and verbally).

It’s very common for a woman to feel that what their lover is doing to them is out of love when in fact it’s not. Mostly as the abuse goes on a woman tends to think their spouse will change. Mostly the abuser will always assure them of how much he is going to change but at the end of the day it’s the same old story.

Most women in Africa and the world over will persevere because they wouldn’t want to be labelled as failures if they disclose and the marriage ends.

One of the elements that lead a woman not to leave an abusive relationship/marriage is lack of financial independence. Most women depend on their partners for finance, making  it hard for them to leave and start a new life as they are mostly not educated.

Some because there are children involved, it becomes hard for them to leave because being a single parent can be strenuous.

Am no expert but I feel at the end of the day it’s up to the abused to admit that they are in an abusive relationship and would want to get out of it. Only until then can everyone give their support to help them come to terms with their predicament and help them heal. But the sooner they accept and get out of it the better. Some women come out alive if they are lucky while some end up being dead.

There have been instances where people and family chipped in but the woman still went back to the abuser.

Let’s look at cases of abuse that rocked the world.

We will first look at the famous Rihanna and Chris Brown fiasco.

In 2009 the World was shocked to learn of  Rn’B Sweetheart Rihanna’s bruised pictures as they surfaced on the internet.

The alleged bruises were caused by no other than then boyfriend Rn’B singer Chris Brown.

The pair begun squabbling after leaving Clive David’s’ Pre-Grammy party. According to E news Brown pulled his Lamborghini to the side of a street in LA, that’s when Rihanna grabbed the car keys and tossed them out the window, sending Brown into rage.

He tried in vain to find the keys, then came back to the car, put his hands around her neck and said ‘’ I am going to kill you.’’

Rihanna lost consciousness, and when she woke, Brown had fled.

On August 25, 2009 Brown was sentenced to serve a five year probation and to serve more than 1,400 hours in ‘labour’ oriented service.

Then there was one that ended tragically.

According to People Magazine South Africa, Successful designer Clarena Acosta who together with her husband Samuel Abomohor amassed 14 clothing stores in Colombia and Panama.

After the abusive marriage, Clarena filed for divorce and tried to start a new life, without Samuel. While separated she moved back in with her parents because she and her husband fought bitterly every day after work. In 2009 she moved back in the house she shared with her husband.

Clarena and Samuel

Close family members knew of Samuel’s tyrannical demeanor and violent temper, but they never expected the tragedy that befell them.

During New Year’s Eve 2009, Samuel gathered the family in the master bedroom claiming he had something to announce. ‘’ Come in, I want you to be the judge,’’ he told them. Once inside he yelled at his wife as she sat on the edge of the bed: I have proof that you’re having an affair. I have your emails- all of them. I know what you’re up to, you bit#*h.

Everybody pleaded for him to put the gun down. He ordered everyone out of the room, but minutes later the argument was cut short when two shots rang out.

During the trial, Samuel showed his temper, he argued with the presiding judge.

On November 29, 2010, Samuel Abomohor was sentenced to 45 years and 10 months in jail.

www.sharonswomensnews.blogspot.com

1 in 3 women will be sexually or physically abused during her lifetime..

At least 1 in 3 women will either be physically or sexually abused during her lifetime, reports the Womens eNews.

Violence between intimate partners predominantly affects women: in 2001, 85 percent of domestic violence victims were women and 15percent were men. Women of all races are equally vulnerable.

Today, another woman will die.

‘’Across the United States, up to 3 million girls and women will be physically abused this year

And 30 percent of Americans know a woman who reflects these statistics.’’ It read in part

"Shining a bright light on domestic violence is one of the most important ways to bring it to an end," says Mary Kay Vice President AnneCrews, who was named a 21 Leader for the 21st Century by Women's eNews in January. "Mary Kay is proud to support Women's eNews in itsefforts to develop deep, insightful reporting in the many aspects of domestic violence."

Crews added: "Domestic violence, rape, stalking and murder threaten and destroy women's dreams, their families and, too often, their lives."Crews also serves on the National Advisory Committee on Violence Against Women, which advises the federal Justice Department in developing deep, insightful reporting in the many aspects of domestic violence."

Ms Crews also serves on the National Advisory Committee on Violence Against Women, which advises the federal Justice Department in developing strategies and policies related to gender-based violence. "We are excited that the award-winning journalists at this nonprofit news reporting organization will be digging into several important domestic violence issues that have not otherwise been deeply explored," she said.

Rita Henley Jensen, editor in chief of Women's eNews and a survivor of domestic violence, says the series is intended to deliver to readers the information that will help women survive domestic violence as well as improve the services provided to them. Women's eNews is partnering with the Mary Kay Inc. to cover domestic violence in a new eight-part series. Mary Kay Inc., based in Dallas,Texas, has been a corporate leader in addressing the concerns of women since its founding in 1963, and in 2000, expanded its charitable outreach to includeviolence issues. This year, Mary Kay has provided a grant to Women's eNews to fund this series and its ongoing coverage of gender-basedviolence against women.

 www.sharonswomensnews.blogspot.com